Personal Reflections on Life (or Delirium) at the University
Having just completed my first year at the University of Michigan and now about to begin my sophomore year, I thought that I should take the time to reflect on the nature of the great transition from a life of obscurity to a greater life of obscurity. I mean this by saying that the college life is one with little direction from outside factors. The major transition comes with the fact that one must partition responsibility on his or her own- and this is all very much true and necessary. But the poignant factor comes when we misunderstand the ordeal that we are about to confront. And so I say these words with a somewhat sobering tone of humility as I reflect on my first year of college.When I came to the university in September 2005, little was I prepared for a transition from the mundane academic tasks of high school to the advanced level of real scholarship, or at least having to deal with one's professors as scholars and erudite intellectuals rather than your run-of-the-mill high school teacher. This is the greatest hardship faced by incoming freshmen, and I am no exception. When we talk about the truths of common knowledge, we are dealing with people who are light years ahead of us in erudition. This is not bad, and is necessary, because whatever we mean by "common knowledge" ought to come under scrutiny by those with greater character as something that is never supposed to rise above the ordinary conventions of society. But how do we square the intellectualism of the university with the common lives of every day people? I think this should be done by the simple linking of each person with every other. There is none among us in his daily routines and responsibilities who can say that he washes his clothes or takes care of his children in a more "erudite" fashion than the rest of the people do. But because we cannot judge the personal characteristics of any individual whom we do not know personally, it is best to leave this subject as it is.But let us consider the incredible pace of work involved in college. I confess that I had lost the spirit to excel at times, all because of a lethargy that had entered into me. It is most likely that I was discouraged because of the massive amount of work required, and I believe that I had somewhat of a cynical attitude about simply "getting by" without being the same type I was in high school- a somewhat masterful academic who scored mostly all A's during the last four years. But now you are one among 38,000 individuals, and there is nothing that anyone will do to notice how great one's achievements were in the past, and there is little hope for your recognition unless you are among the elite class of intellectuals. And so I shall admit that I still carry this sort of cynicism, albeit refined in a way that does not evolve into despair and failure, and I confess to have having senses of the latter categories.I did not think that my character could handle the fast-paced environment of the classes I was taking. My two English classes, along with being enrolled in college ROTC (which I have now thankfully divested myself of), were the cracking points. I was more worried about my achievement in ROTC, and this shaded my entire college experience. Having felt the pressure to at least pass my PT test, there seemingly wasn't even enough will for me to do this- and I admit that I never wanted to be there, but felt that my father would not want me to trade in a free scholarship in turn for having to take out college loans. But the fear that accompanied the prospect of becoming an army officer was too much to handle, largely because I was in an environment of type-A personalities imbibed with the military spirit, and I was not one of them. I felt that the responsibilities of learning to be a military officer and a college graduate were too much to handle, and I really thought that it was too much.Now I will say that I didn't do too bad with my first semester, but the second one was worse than I expected it to be. It is all in the fact that now the elite school of the elite school in all the state of Michigan (the Residential College) required of me that I learn a language, and so I chose to start as a true beginner with German. If I could only see the weaknesses of my talent for learning a new language, how much more sober would I have been! I feel that I am at a supreme loss because of the fact that the pace of learning a language that would have taken an entire year in high school now only takes half that long in college. I don't blame the rigor of college studies for my own unprepared ness, especially after I had done so well previously learning Spanish in high school. Maybe I should just blame myself for the lack of character that I had when going into this course- thinking that the German language would come naturally. As for the upcoming semester, I will have to take the second level of this course before having to pass a proficiency test. Pray for me, whoever reads this blog, that I may do better in German this time!As for the course in logic which I also took, I will be honest in saying I failed the mid-term exam. Although I ended up getting a C- in the course overall, this is my shame. Maybe it was to be expected, seeing as how I still lack that all-important trait of erudition. It is enough for me to know that A is not non-A and non-A is not A- the law of contradiction. As for the rest of the material- I leave it up to the logicians in pontificating over symbolic logic. I prefer the logic of simply using arguments with sentences.And as for ROTC in the second semester, it had a happy ending: I was gone. The outcome of my dismal failure as a prospective military man was plain for all to see: I cannot pass a basic marksmanship qualification, I cannot pass a PT test, and I cannot learn how to lead men into battle. And for all of this, it was apparent that my superiors would have had it better if their professional battalion of soldier-cadets would no longer be marred by this excrescence. And so I am gone, and good riddance.As for my roommate, he had better character than I did while living together. I asked the stupid questions, I sequestered myself from his friends and social activities, I borrowed what was his without asking, and I was of the more childish disposition while he had greater maturity and a sense of realism. I apologize to him for having been his roommate.Now I shall prepare to redeem that which was lost this coming September, and by then, I will add one of my book-length works to this blog.
Having just completed my first year at the University of Michigan and now about to begin my sophomore year, I thought that I should take the time to reflect on the nature of the great transition from a life of obscurity to a greater life of obscurity. I mean this by saying that the college life is one with little direction from outside factors. The major transition comes with the fact that one must partition responsibility on his or her own- and this is all very much true and necessary. But the poignant factor comes when we misunderstand the ordeal that we are about to confront. And so I say these words with a somewhat sobering tone of humility as I reflect on my first year of college.When I came to the university in September 2005, little was I prepared for a transition from the mundane academic tasks of high school to the advanced level of real scholarship, or at least having to deal with one's professors as scholars and erudite intellectuals rather than your run-of-the-mill high school teacher. This is the greatest hardship faced by incoming freshmen, and I am no exception. When we talk about the truths of common knowledge, we are dealing with people who are light years ahead of us in erudition. This is not bad, and is necessary, because whatever we mean by "common knowledge" ought to come under scrutiny by those with greater character as something that is never supposed to rise above the ordinary conventions of society. But how do we square the intellectualism of the university with the common lives of every day people? I think this should be done by the simple linking of each person with every other. There is none among us in his daily routines and responsibilities who can say that he washes his clothes or takes care of his children in a more "erudite" fashion than the rest of the people do. But because we cannot judge the personal characteristics of any individual whom we do not know personally, it is best to leave this subject as it is.But let us consider the incredible pace of work involved in college. I confess that I had lost the spirit to excel at times, all because of a lethargy that had entered into me. It is most likely that I was discouraged because of the massive amount of work required, and I believe that I had somewhat of a cynical attitude about simply "getting by" without being the same type I was in high school- a somewhat masterful academic who scored mostly all A's during the last four years. But now you are one among 38,000 individuals, and there is nothing that anyone will do to notice how great one's achievements were in the past, and there is little hope for your recognition unless you are among the elite class of intellectuals. And so I shall admit that I still carry this sort of cynicism, albeit refined in a way that does not evolve into despair and failure, and I confess to have having senses of the latter categories.I did not think that my character could handle the fast-paced environment of the classes I was taking. My two English classes, along with being enrolled in college ROTC (which I have now thankfully divested myself of), were the cracking points. I was more worried about my achievement in ROTC, and this shaded my entire college experience. Having felt the pressure to at least pass my PT test, there seemingly wasn't even enough will for me to do this- and I admit that I never wanted to be there, but felt that my father would not want me to trade in a free scholarship in turn for having to take out college loans. But the fear that accompanied the prospect of becoming an army officer was too much to handle, largely because I was in an environment of type-A personalities imbibed with the military spirit, and I was not one of them. I felt that the responsibilities of learning to be a military officer and a college graduate were too much to handle, and I really thought that it was too much.Now I will say that I didn't do too bad with my first semester, but the second one was worse than I expected it to be. It is all in the fact that now the elite school of the elite school in all the state of Michigan (the Residential College) required of me that I learn a language, and so I chose to start as a true beginner with German. If I could only see the weaknesses of my talent for learning a new language, how much more sober would I have been! I feel that I am at a supreme loss because of the fact that the pace of learning a language that would have taken an entire year in high school now only takes half that long in college. I don't blame the rigor of college studies for my own unprepared ness, especially after I had done so well previously learning Spanish in high school. Maybe I should just blame myself for the lack of character that I had when going into this course- thinking that the German language would come naturally. As for the upcoming semester, I will have to take the second level of this course before having to pass a proficiency test. Pray for me, whoever reads this blog, that I may do better in German this time!As for the course in logic which I also took, I will be honest in saying I failed the mid-term exam. Although I ended up getting a C- in the course overall, this is my shame. Maybe it was to be expected, seeing as how I still lack that all-important trait of erudition. It is enough for me to know that A is not non-A and non-A is not A- the law of contradiction. As for the rest of the material- I leave it up to the logicians in pontificating over symbolic logic. I prefer the logic of simply using arguments with sentences.And as for ROTC in the second semester, it had a happy ending: I was gone. The outcome of my dismal failure as a prospective military man was plain for all to see: I cannot pass a basic marksmanship qualification, I cannot pass a PT test, and I cannot learn how to lead men into battle. And for all of this, it was apparent that my superiors would have had it better if their professional battalion of soldier-cadets would no longer be marred by this excrescence. And so I am gone, and good riddance.As for my roommate, he had better character than I did while living together. I asked the stupid questions, I sequestered myself from his friends and social activities, I borrowed what was his without asking, and I was of the more childish disposition while he had greater maturity and a sense of realism. I apologize to him for having been his roommate.Now I shall prepare to redeem that which was lost this coming September, and by then, I will add one of my book-length works to this blog.
posted by Bob at 8:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home